The Seto Kaiba Experience
by Pretty Guardian
Summary: What happens when Mokuba gets everyone to go on a nature and friendship trip to get back at his older brother? One thing's for sure: Tristan & Joey will eat all the food!
1. That's What Little Brothers Are For

Hello and welcome to my humble internet abode! You know the rules. And as my promise as an author, I will keep you in suspense.

Love Only,

Pretty Guardian also known as Deep Toot

P.S. Ha! Ha! Ha! I love Deep Toot! It's such a funny name! shrinks away to laugh

The Seto Kaiba Experience

Chapter 1

That's What Little Brothers Are For

Most people would start a story off with "once upon a time" or "it all started when" blah, blah, blah. But our story starts out with Seto Kaiba in his bedroom trying on some too tight and too small Playboy boxer short that Mokuba bought him for his birthday. How an eleven-year-old managed to score a pair of Playboy boxer shorts was beyond Seto. If anything, it was the most insane gift he'd received so far. There was the Playboy symbol on the ass, so that made Seto want to keep his pants on more than anything. Kitty, his new secretary, had convinced him to allow gay workers on the job. Seto felt more harassed than anything. The guys stared at him more than ever. If they saw him with Playboy shorts, the press would have a field day. He could see the headlines now: "Coldhearted Seto Kaiba Is Gay." Seto shuddered at that thought. He looked at his reflection in the mirror. Seto would just lie and say he did wear them to work. There was no way he was wearing these. He opened the present his rival had sent. Seto felt the creamy wrapping paper. In the box was a pair of leopard skin drawers with the word "Juicy" on the butt. Inside a card:

Dear Kaiba,

I hope you enjoy these complimentary drawers from La Ghetto Drawers, where the black man meets clean underwear.

Happy Birth,

Your Sexy Rival,

Yugi Moto

It was then that Kaiba dropped the card and screamed. What was going on? Has the world gone gay? He hopped not. If so, his homophobia would be through the roof. He dropped the underwear. He dressed in his normal clothing. Today would be a field trip to the National Waters Park. He had to supervise Mokuba and the midget crew (Mokuba's group members or buddies). He promised Mokuba he would be the supervisor on their trip. He didn't want to do it, but a promise is a promise. After dressing, Kaiba headed down for breakfast. Mrs. Potts, the chef, took on a motherly role when it came to the Kaiba brothers. So in this case, breakfast was lumpy, clumpy, homemade oatmeal. Seto sat down and looked at his bowl of lumpy goop and shuddered. This is a poor excuse for a breakfast. As Mokuba sat down next to Seto, Mrs. Potts rushed over and filled his bowl with the same goop. It poured out of the pot all slimy and slithery like a wet serpent, leaving no clump behind.

"Now, if you kids want more, just holler," said Mrs. Potts.

"Don't worry. The room will be pretty quiet," Mokuba muttered. As she turned on her heel, Mokuba grabbed the bamboo pot and poured his oatmeal portion in it.

"Hey. Seto!" Seto looked over, smiled at his little brother, and did the same. They rushed out the door to Kaiba Corp and left their "empty" bowls behind. As they rode in the car, Seto said,

"Thanks, Mokuba."

"Hey, what are little brothers for?"


	2. The Field Trip

I hope you all liked the first chapter! Here's more! Thank you, Lise for being my first reviewer! Please keep on reviewing! Thanks to the others for reviewing! This is for Moonangel93, Lise, cherry-star-aus!

Love,

Pretty Guardian

The Seto Kaiba Experience

Chapter 2

The Field Trip

Seto was able to walk into his office and sit down. Kitty Claibourne, Seto's sarcastic secretary, smiled at him when he came in. he grunted a hello to her and paged her to get him some coffee. He logged on to his PC and went to Announcements. He left his employees with a letter:

Dear Workers,

Today, I will be absent from my CEO duties as I will be obliged to take Mokuba on his first field trip with a bunch of bitchy female teachers, loud, chronic nose-picking kids. Claibourne is in charge whilst I'm gone. Plus, there will be construction next to us. So don't harass the workers or the women who walk pass our building. Keep every place neat and clean.

Sincerely,

CEO Seto Kaiba

After posting the letter on the announcements and sending them to peoples' mailboxes, Seto looked into his coffee and noticed there was no crème in it. He hit the speaker button that led to the front desk.

"Claibourne! There's no crème in coffee!" he yelled. "You know how I like my coffee."

"Good," Kitty said. "Then you make it." Seto growled at Kitty's smart-mouthed comment. He stood up and looked at Mokuba who was playing a game on his GameBoy. He looked so adorable sitting there. Kitty barged in the door and snatched the cup out of Kaiba's hand. She began to mumble under her breath and walked out. Mokuba looked up at his brother.

"Seto, did you really want to come today? Or are you trying to avoid that big meeting?" Mokuba asked. Seto shook his head.

"Mokuba, I never back down out of anything and I'm not going to start now," was Kaiba's reply. After a tedious ten minutes, Kaiba and his little brother were on their way to McIntosh Elementary School of Domino City. Inside, little kids were running round the classroom, screaming their little oatmeal-eating hearts out. The teachers were discussing the game plan for the trip. The classroom was covered in pretty little colors and photos of students with their family. Pictures of families were all around and homemade macaroni faces greeted people at the door. Ms. Lisa AnneMarie Gripling, Mokuba's teacher, was talking to Mokuba. Seto wanted to leave, but Mokuba would beg and pout like a human dog. Mokuba walked up to Seto.

"Hey, Seto, Mokuba!" came a voice. Mokuba and Seto turned around. It was Marie. Marie had ash blonde hair and blue eyes and crème colored skin. She was very pretty, like a mini, perfectly made Marie Antoinette. Her cheeks looked blown from the breezy day that was promised.

"Hey, Mokuba!" Marie yelled out. Mokuba turned to see the beautiful girl standing there. She was in jeans and a pretty well knit sweater and in hiking boots. She looked so pretty. Seto looked at his little brother.

Come along, children! The bus is here and we've plenty of snacks!" Ms. Gripling yelled. The kids ran to the bus and sat down. Seto was walking out when Ms. Gripling fondled him. Seto gasped.

"Will you sit next to me, Seto?" she asked softly. Seto ran out to the bus and sat behind Marie and Mokuba. He wouldn't have minded if someone else came along. Even Yugi would have been a better choice. Mokuba's teacher had been flirting with him for so long. She was obviously desperate. The bus puffed and chugged out of the parking lot. Everyone was in conversation, all the little kids chattering away and sharing snacks. Ms. Gripling sat next to Seto, even though there were plenty of other seats available. She scooted next to him. She began to whisper in his ear. Seto moved away from her, bumping his head against the window.

"Please, Ms. Gripling," Seto said. "You're a teacher, you-"

"Please," she whispered hotly. "Call me Lisa."

"Okay, Lisa," Seto said as a matter-of-factly. "I know you're in love with me, but I'm not that way with you. And as luck would have it for me, there are innocent little kids on this bus who don't need to see you acting this way. You want to keep your job, don't you?" He raised an eyebrow, as though talking to his own employee.

"Actually, I've been trying to get fired," Ms. Gripling whispered softly. She began to fumble with the buttons on her top. Seto quickly moved and sat next to Mokuba. He had Mokuba on his lap and Marie sitting in the same seat. Lisa fastened her top back together and looked around. Everyone hadn't seen what she'd tried to do.

"Seto, what're you doing?" Mokuba hissed. Seto ignored his brother's comment. Marie thought this was all too weird and decided to sit next to Lena, the Spanish exchange student. Mokuba took Marie's spot and sighed. The entire ride was quiet as kids fell asleep. Seto looked at Mokuba, who had succumbed to the sleep as well. He looked so precious sleeping. Marie and Lena were sleeping as well. Soon enough, the bus puffed and chugged its way up a hill into the wilderness where several cabins were abridged. It looked so calm and peaceful. The kids scrunched out of the bus. A curly, frizzy haired woman met them. Her name tag read, "Ruth." Her green eyes were sparkling just like her badge. She smiled as her braces shone brightly. It was obvious to Seto that this girl was teenager. They could hear the rushing water.

"Hello, kids! I'm Ruth and I'll be your tour guide. Today we'll explore the different waters here in the park. We'll also look for fossils in the water, oooh!" she said, hoping that when she did the "oooh" part, the kids would join her. Instead, there was a bored silence. She cleared her throat with embarrassment. She ushered the class to follow her onto a rickety, wooden bridge. Her voice was meek considering the loud rushing waters overhead.

"You see, this is a natural habitat for humans and animals. The waterfall you see behind me is perfect drinking water for anybody. It's clean, pure, and it makes a great photo op," Ruth said. Several people smiled and took pictures.

"Please, take lots and lots of pictures," Ruth said. "It's good for others to know about our luxurious economy and it brings me closer to buying my Toyota Camry Solara Convertible." Seto rolled his dark blue eyes. Typical. People like Ruth could give two shits about the environment. It was just an excuse for her to buy an atmosphere-clogging vehicle. The kids walked on, looking in awe.

"Hey, Seto? What's the best way to a girl's heart?" Mokuba whispered, secretly eyeing Marie. Seto gave an "I don't know" and a shrug. That sort of answer was something Yugi could answer or possibly Téa. Love wasn't one of his strong points.

Soon enough, it was time to eat. The smell of grilled burgers flooded the air. Ruth maintained her composure. The guests looked at her.

"Please, excuse me. I am a vegetarian and burgers sometimes…" Ruth stopped in mid-sentence and ran after the smell of burgers. All the while, she screamed, "Forgive me, Allah!" Mokuba and his friends looked on as Ruth's red hair flew into the distance as she continued running. Everyone sat down to sandwiches, chips, and the sound of nature. Seto didn't eat much, so he just stood in the quiet shade of the exhibit of the park. It was cool and dark, a pleasant welcome from the bright heat. Seto looked on at the portrait in front of him. A man stood by a bookshelf, wearing a dark blue well-pressed shirt, and white Sergio Valente jeans and black boots. His hair was black and smooth and his eyes were a dark, dark deep blue and oh, so piercing. Below it, it said, "Prescott Magnus Claibourne." _Claibourne…._ Seto thought. Wasn't that his secretary's last name?

"Seto, is that you?" a voice said. It was Lisa, Mokuba's teacher. She smiled and walked up to him. She threw her arms around his long, slender neck and breathed in his cologne. She kissed his lips and pushed him onto the marble floor. She tried to disrobe him, but she stopped him. Her lips tasted like strawberries. He pushed her off.

"Look, you're my little brother's teacher. I have no interest in…" Seto began but Lisa stopped him once more. Soon, her top was opened, her bosom exposed. Seto turned away. Her legs were open.

"Please, Seto," she whispered. "Take me." Seto bent down to her.

"Look, I can't do this…" Seto stated. She was heaving and sweating. Lust was in her eyes. She kissed him with fire and he replied, hoping that she would stop and realize that kissing wasn't his strong point. Instead, she did the opposite: she continued. Mokuba walked in and saw his brother. He gasped at what his eyes beheld. Seto got up and dusted his clothes. Lisa followed in suit and stood up. Her black lacy bra was showing.

"Um," Mokuba said, pointing to his teacher's chest. She looked down and gasped. With haste, she tightened her top. Mokuba ran out and after Marie, who apparently saw what happened. With a look of disgust at his brother and teacher, Mokuba ran off to hopefully save his chances of marrying Marie in the future.


End file.
